A former senior constable for the Victorian Police, Ms Lewis was driven out of the force due to serious bullying and threats of violence in 2013, and has since struggled with anxiety, complex PTSD, and depression.
“I had a really good career in Victoria Police. I got to do some amazing things and meet some amazing people, but unfortunately, the bullying, threats of violence and the homophobia was really detrimental to my health and my wellbeing,” Ms Lewis told the Free Press.
“I was pretty much made to feel like I was nothing, like I didn't matter. It was really hard to leave that behind and start a new life.”
Following her departure from the police force, Ms Lewis found herself in a difficult financial situation. With her income reduced she decided to rent out her home in Woodend, Victoria and move to Mackay, Queensland, to work in a pub.
While the job provided Nicki with some much-needed income, it was not the career she had envisioned for herself. She missed her work with the police force, particularly her role in working with youth in the community. Despite her best efforts to move on, Nicki was still struggling with the trauma she had experienced, and her mental health was suffering.
After some moving around, Ms Lewis moved to Bright to be closer to family in 2021, working at Hotham.
“I really enjoyed working up at Hotham. It was during covid so there were challenges,” Nicki said.
“But I had a bad relationship breakdown around this time. Suddenly everything fell apart again.
“Motorbikes had always been my passion and I can't imagine my life without it, but August 2021, I put my bike down and didn’t pick it up again. Something in me just stopped.”
Ms Lewis tried to move on with her life selling her house in south Victoria later and purchasing a home in Wangaratta to be part of a new community.
But despite making some positive changes, she was still struggling with her mental health.
“I was sitting on my couch on January 31 this year in a depressive state, struggling to shake off negative thoughts that had been consuming me for some time,” she said.
“I heard of two recent police suicides, and I felt frustrated by the lack of action.
“I remember feeling frightened by my thoughts and was questioning if anything would ever get better. I had even prepared my will. I was just struggling to find a reason to keep going.”
The next day, everything changed.
“I came across something called "Frontline Safari" – a six-day motorbike ride across the Oodnadatta track, crossing the Simpson Desert and supporting Soldier On Australia
“When I stumbled upon this ride, it was like a light had been switched on inside of me. I had been in such a dark place and felt like I had lost my sense of purpose, but the idea of taking on a motorbike challenge to support the Soldier On support services really excited me.”
Ms Lewis decided to reach out to the organiser and was introduced to Benji Brundin, who runs ‘Daring2Venture’.
“I told Benji my story and said I hadn’t ridden my bike for ages. He saw potential in me. Not only did he want me to do the Frontline Safari Ride in May, but he also offered me the opportunity to be the first woman to complete the Desert Odyssey Ride in June,” she said
“He said to me ‘that will be your comeback story. We can get you there’,” Ms Lewis said.
“Suddenly I had a purpose and a goal.”
Ms Lewis has been taking steps towards her goal, including learning how to do sand bike riding at Rainbow, the recent Black Dog Ride.
“After getting back on the bike, I felt amazing. I had a few falls but got back up and kept riding. I had no fear; I was just laughing. I couldn't believe I stopped riding for so long,” she said
“While this is about my journey of overcoming, we are creating something much bigger for veterans out there who are also suffering.
“I have this incredible goal and a supportive network and together we can support and inspire other people who are in a similar situation.”
Ms Lewis is also participating in the Anzac Day Ride Out next week, a two-day event in west Victoria where riders will pay their respects to those who have served past and present.
Nicki's journey has not been an easy one, but she hopes that her story can inspire others who may be struggling with their mental health.
“After ten years, everything is happening. I’m finally coming out of darkness. Now it's about what I can do for others,” Nicki said.
She hopes to complete the Frontline Safari Ride in May and Desert Odyssey Ride in June and inspire others to set goals and overcome their own struggles.
“Potentially being the first woman to complete the Desert Odyssey Ride gave me a renewed sense of hope and determination. It was exactly the kind of challenge I needed to help me break out of my rut and start moving forward again.”
